I haven't been so concerned with physical weight; it's the other kind that interests me.
A wise woman told me a story regarding the weight of bitterness. Her story followed a young man who visited a town elder asking for freedom from anger and resentment. The elder directed the man to bring a sack of potatoes back. The man did so. The elder asked for the names of all the people who had wronged the young man. As he called out each name, the young man was told to carve each name into a potato. With the newly-carved potatoes back in the sack, the young man was told to carry the sack until next he met the elder. The potatoes grew very heavy. Soon, they began to rot. It was not long before the young man returned to the elder and said, "I cannot keep carrying this heavy bag of stinking potatoes on my back." The elder replied, "We release our anger and resentment only after we realize carrying them hurts us far more than it hurts anyone else."
So interesting to me, this idea of the weight we put on ourselves. We carry the insults, the neglects, the snides and snips. How our shoulders ache and how our spirits sag.
On the other hand, I've been thinking of one my favorite characters from The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. As Aslan readied his small army to help Peter and Edmund in their final battle against the White Witch, he called on a second lion to help him. The story goes,
"The most pleased of the lot was the other lion, who kept running about everywhere pretending to be very busy but really in order to say to everyone he met,
'Did you hear what he said? Us lions. That means him and me. Us lions. That's what I like about Aslan. No side, no stand-off-ishness. Us lions. That meant him and me.'
At least he went on saying this till Aslan had loaded him up with three dwarfs, one Dryad, two rabbits, and a hedgehog. That steadied him a bit."
So, then there is the weight that Aslan puts on us to steady us a bit. I am fascinated by this idea. Is it true? That we may need burdens to calm us, to still us? Or more, as Loriensleaf included in her blog, is it true that we need burdens, or suffering, to create parts of heart? Are we not as effective, not as poignant, not as expansive when we are free and light? I love thinking about that 2nd lion: bouncy, chatty, full of opinions. Steadied and still only by enormous, unsought-for weight. Was that fair of Aslan? Was it really necessary?
How can weight be both a self-inflicted punishment and a Love-inspired gift? How can we complain that we 'carry the weight of the world on our shoulders,' but then admonish others to 'carry their own weight in this world'? And what about someone being a 'dead weight?' And doesn't it feel good to talk with a friend and take some weight off your mind?
I don't have any answers; I just think the subject is infinitely interesting. What do I carry because I choose to, and what do I carry because it makes me stronger? What can I let go? What do I cling to, despite its rot and stench? Welcome, welcome responses. I'm eager for more anecdotes, more opinions. This issue 'lays heavily' on my mind these days. :)
That is an excellent story. I have a friend harboring and hanging on to bitterness that I will be passing that on to. Of course, I never hang to anything ever. I don't ever obsess over things, running them over and over and over in my mind. Not me. ;-)
ReplyDeleteI find that all the weight upon my shoulders and back is always placed there by ME. And I love to keep it there. I even unload it, then bring it back again. A wise woman once wrote that when she prayed, she pictured a lake with an enormous NO FISHING sign. Her prayers went into the lake and she wasn't allowed to take anything back from God once she threw it out there. Much easier said than done.
I had a youth pastor tell me once in an upbeat sweet voice, "If you pray, why worry? And if you worry, why pray?" I wanted to pour punch all over her stupid Sunday dress. It might have been that simple for her - born into money, married into money, never had to work, never had a worry or care to pray about. I suppose it is that simplistic for some people. For me it never was. Ever. So I carry around a lot of rotting potatoes sometimes. That load gets too heavy and I'm forced to set it down. I take a few out and toss them, but some are only beginning to sprout eyelets and aren't yet rotting so those ones stay in there. If only my body reflected the weight that I carry - I'd be as chiseled as Atlas there!
Jennie, I am so interested in this idea of putting weight on, unloading it, and then putting it back on. I do that, too, I think, when I 'dish' with a friend about something. The act of 'dishing' works me up, and I feel myself sagging and growing weary as I do it.
ReplyDeleteI read a great bit by Don Miguel Ruiz. Have you read his stuff? He writes, "All the magic you possess is based on your word, and you cast spells all the time with your opinions. You can either put a spell on someone with your word, or you can release someone from a spell."
I love this, and I think it can be connected to the story of our rotting potatoes. Perhaps a good word from us can help someone release one or two potatoes. OR, perhaps a good word from us can prevent someone from picking a potato up. What do you think? I love the idea of interconnectedness; but all the while I write, I'm bemoaning 'poor me, poor me! who is casting spells for me?' What a baby I am. I think I often listen to my own whines rather than to the kind spells people are casting all around me.
I throw Pity Poor Me parties often. I can be a huge baby and I struggle with that every so often. I go through phases. Right now my motto is "You don't have to believe every thought you have. Thoughts lie. They lie a lot." :-)
ReplyDeleteI agree that we kind of take things back when we are "venting" with friends or loved ones. It's just rehashing everything - or a really gross analogy? Picking that scab so that the wound never heals. It just keeps bleeding. I can be good at that too. I have to practice letting go and leaving it there. Lily struggles with "leave it" sometimes too. I'm about as good at teaching that command as I am at practicing it, I guess. She has good days and bad days - days when she looks away from whatever I need her to leave immediately and days when it is just too good to leave! I have to coax myself away like I do her sometimes...with treats!
I have not read anything by Don Miguel Ruiz, but I love that quote! I will have to pick him up. That is such a fitting quote. We do have that power and a few words truly is all that it takes. Thanks for sharing that!